She looks good but her boyfriend says she’s a mess, she’s a mess, she’s a mess
(via andyv01c0m)
That lyric alone makes that song my favorite off the album. For obvious reasons.
LoL! Ugh…
Every song that I heard while roaming around Austin in his car with him fucking kills me, no matter how enjoyable the song.
Four weeks until I can see him again.
And the one person I should thank most for that opportunity is
Dark Lord Kramdar.
JK! <3 Jesus. Hope you’re enjoying your Guinness.
That Guinness was BOMB. I earned it. You’re welcome. I’m boss.
GUNDAMU
I’ve decided that I am going to get a gundam sleeve, start collecting all the gundam models I’ve always wanted, and start snagging all the dvd’s of the series I enjoy the most.
DO IT!
SAVE YOUR FUCKIN’ MONEY TARD! DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT THIS UNTIL THE NEXT THREE YEARS!
@Jonoh
I’ll admit to being a little clingy but definitely not crazy. :P
Bitch, why you gots to lie? You crazier than a mothafucker’!
Seems like
my original friends have all but diminished. Except for maybe Chris. I’m not too disappointed about it though. I enjoy hanging out with Aaron and Jesus a whole lot better. I’m bound to make more in Austin anyhow.
Man, is this guy in for a surprise when I turn out to be a giant bitch. frenemiesLULZ!
“Some folks has a light around them that shines for other peoples. I think that maybe some of them was in tunnels. And in that tunnel, the only light they had, was inside of them. And then long after they escape that tunnel, they still be shining for everybody else.” - Precious: based on the novel Push by Sapphire
Thinking a lot about this one today.
No, not really. More like bad news.
I’ve been diagnosed with HPV.
I mean sure plenty of people have it and don’t know. But I have it and I do know.
It’s weird cause in a way I’m sort of pissed cause I know who I got it from and he’s in a little bit of denial. I’m sure his mind is running…
I was there for all of this! Hi friend! I’m super, super glad you decided to write about this. High five!
“Please realize that we all at one time or another have lusted to walk a ballroom floor. So give the patrons, and the contestants, you know, a round of applause for nerve. Cuz with y’all vicious mothafuckers, it do take nerves. Believe me. We’re not going to be shady, just fierce.”
The Bizarre Nature of Your Soul
There’s a moment right before your eyes start to get really droopy while you’re on codeine, where you start to hear this whistling in your ears. It alternates between being extremely high pitched, piercing, and also really hollow, like your your eardrums have somebody’s mouth on top of them.
At one point, I thought a lot about why that happened with such frequency. It’s such a fucked sound. It felt exactly the why I think Wile E. Coyote felt right before some acme product came crashing down on him. I’m waiting for the muffled ‘boom’.
My Catholic Is Showing
Mardis Gras last night. It was a clear, clear mess. But not quite of the hot kind. I woke up this morning to my 10th person in the past two weeks to tell me that I have a problem and am depressed. I can’t say that there isn’t an odd tinge of pride in having someone say “Jesus, you’re a mess. I don’t think that there’s any thought in your head that makes sense.” At once, there are parts of me that need this sort of odd attention, not for the story but because it makes me feel less alone.
I’ve been really depressed for the past few months. I would argue that it seems like it’s been the last two or three years. About the only time I felt okay and wasn’t drinking was when I was in North Carolina.
After almost three months of being gone from the lives of my cohort at MURAP because I was ashamed of myself, away from my mentors because I thought people taking an interest in me was a waste of their time, and away from most of my friends because I felt that they’d be disinterested in my mess if it didn’t involve me doing something embarrassing, I’ve decided to join life again. I’m only turning in two graduate school applications, then another application for IRT, and one more for the Southwest Center for HIV/AIDS.
I’m also contemplating giving up drinking. Which would probably make this blogg-ish thing pointless. We shall see. Lent, am i right, ladies?! My Catholic is showing.
Before I Forget
- Lunchtime Molestation With The Girls in Sonora, TX
- “You’re overserving yourself” “Yeah, with your lifestyle I would imagine it would be hard” or, My friends are thinking about intervention.
- Other junk on my current state of life
I am not an alcoholic. I’m a social catalyst. People pay me to illustrate for other partygoers the chemical process involved in transforming from one persona into another drunker, more fun one. It’s a matter of going from dull point A to exciting point B. And I’m a raving success at it. So successful that sometimes I wind up at Mysterious Point C.
– — Josh Kilmer-Purcell (I Am Not Myself These Days: A Memoir)ATX & Friday Mess
It has been four days since my visit to Austin. This also means it has been four days that I’ve spent not drinking.
Austin is probably my favorite place to get away right now.The theme for my weekend in Austin was commitment. Commitment to hot mess.
True to fashion, I got a hotel adjacent to sixth street. The goal of the weekend was to crawl back to my room from a bar. I had to settle for stumbling and crying. Next time, kids.
Checked into the hotel at 2:40 and I was at the liquor store by 3:40. A lady really does need a proper hour of napping before picking up her favorite flavor of kerosene. When I returned to hotel, I had my first shot of Goldschlagger for the night. Goldschlagger appeals to me on a level that most alcoholic drinks can’t even come close too. The gift of Gold is threefold. 1). It’s booze. 2). It’s cinnamon-y booze 3). It has gold flakes inside it. Their purpose is to make tiny cuts in your stomach/throat so the liquor gets to your blood that much faster. Like all things I love most in life, it fucks with you, then it fucks you up. Like all good things in life, it was best that this drank came in three. After two more shots, I knocked back two tumblers of vodka and I was off to Diner 24 with some of my favorite gal pals, all of whom have penises. I put away a salad, because roughage is important for a lady with an active colon. Blah blah blah dinner happened. Cut scene. We made our way to Vortex, this performance space/ theatre warehouse thing.
The weekend was particularly special for two reasons: Tim Miller & my flask debut. One is obviously a little less impressive than the other, but cause for celebration nonetheless. Tim was performing at Vortex, a place we once deemed to be a fitting monument to Martin’s asshole (if you don’t know why Martin’s asshole is comparable to a vortex, you’ve never been to El Paso). The venue was rather nice. Because it was a Tim Miller show, the crowd in the lobby consisted of older gay men and men who were hipsters or queer or queer hipsters. Oh, and I guess there was girls there too.
The pre-show consisted of a middle aged man in formal wear with a sad attempt at GaGa make-up warbling his way through classics beside his accompanist. After we were treated to lovely hits like “And I am Telling You I’m Not Going” (and really, that song ONLY makes sense when it’s coming out of the mouth of an older, White, gay man. Think about it, kids. I haven’t.), we were seated for the show. Tim was great, though I was a bit tipsy and the wine was making me a little woozy halfway through the show. Oh, yeah. There was wine in the lobby. I had some pre-show. There. You’re caught up.
I finally broke out the flask that I got for Christmas from the boyfriend. It graciously provided me with vodka at establishments that were not cooperative to the weekend’s theme. Thanks, boyfriend. Thanks, flask.
Womp. Have to leave work now. Finish later.
Hate to say this, but Ke$ha’s ‘Animal’ is song by song the most accurate depiction of my current state of being in the past 2 years. That’s just awful. She looks like she smells like a landfill. So, we have that in common.
Chiquitita | Abba
1979
Sometimes I close my eyes and pretend that this song is about me, for realz
That’s fuckin’ perfect. I do the same thing with Gimme Gimme Gimme and Money. We’re Muriel’s Wedding.
About me
My favorite drinks include vodka on the rocks, adios motherfuckers and lighter fluid. I'm desperately trying to cling to the person who lived his life like barstools were the only obstacle between the dancefloor and the next drink. Mostly because the next drink was fuel for the next story. That's what's exhausting about fiction - reality is always the point of reference.
